As I mentioned W was suppose to call tonight after work that would of been 9PM my time. She called at 5:45PM.hmmmm this is how the conversation went.
I said "hello?" she said "hi you told me to call you back" "oh yeah just wanted to tell you that I sent the divorce papers signed to you and you should have them by tomorrow" I this point she said in a much softer voice "oh. Ok. Thank you" the voice almost sounded disappointed but that could be my imagination “I know you want your space and I respect that, I also know you really don't want to talk to me all that much so I will back off. If you ever want to speak to me I would love to talk. You can call me anytime" I this point I was prepared to hang up and say goodnight.
She said "it's not that I don't want to talk to you it's that I am tired of talking about the same thing" I said " I understand you've been clear on what you want and I have to respect that and you know where I stand. I am tired of saying it and you’re tired of hearing it. So the papers will come to your house and from the there you can do as you please"
The whole time I did what my DB coach suggested and smiled as I spoke to her. It also helped that I was feeling pretty good today and really didn't care if she called or not.
At several points I gave her a chance to hang up. She did not wait till she got off to call me she called during lunch. I said hey I know you are at lunch so I will let you go. Then she said "how is D?" I said good she is good. Then she started talking about work and said "you want to hear something depressing. I can be a manager at a fast food place and make more than I am making at this damn company. This [censored]!" At which point I did not miss a beat and said "well you know I really believe you will be alright. You are a fighter and a go getter. I am sure regardless of what you do you will land on your feet"
That really surprised her. "First time you said that about me. Never thought I would hear you say that" "well you proved me wrong"
Overall the conversation went well and I think she hung up feeling good about it. Here is what I have taken away from this
1. I am no longer missing the small victories. At this point is just making her feel good about talking to me.
2. Because she perceives me as aggressive and mean if I am nice and I encourage her she feel confidence.
3. NO MORE MARRIAGE TALK!!!
4. I ended the conversation, not the other way around.
5. All is not well in the world of W.
I realized this after last Saturdays talk and I actually felt good about being happy for a change. I am sure by tonight I will find a reason to be depressed.
Where are the BITS, hope, sandi and Tulsa, MR Bond some feedback am I on the right track
