Originally Posted By: TonyB
But this isn't about them; it's about us and our ability to survive.


Yes. This is the key. If you read all my threads you will see my metamorphisis.

Also that I believe that you cannot get there by simply walking away.

Facing your fear,

your wants,

your desires,

your needs,

your wants

...on your own in the face of, and in spite of,

what our spouse happens to choose,

...is a learning experience about everything that is important in life.

For me it meant standing for my M.

I did not decide this because of what my W is choosing.

It is time for me to stop watching her and being the life ring for her. She must face her fears without me as I have without her.

I am not serving myself by staying close and I thought I could do that while still having contact with her.

As in the beginning, I thought that a phone call or a text every week or so did not cost me anything...

But I learned it does.

I finally realize that the best thing for my W and me is for me to completely let her go...

Then she can choose without me there.

This is tough I will tell you my friends and it takes time to understand and get to this place.

I do not hold any expectation for her other than she live her life and find peace and happiness.

I do not rule out that it could be with me. But not with me right now.

I have not thought about D or filing or any of that. I am just going to walk in my big boy shoes for a while and see where I go.

Keep on steppin' (nickel Brookie)

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am