I've been around awhile and my reputation is one of a soft touch. I try to get my point across gently. But I am not above laying it on the line when I have to.
So, here goes.
I'm sorry that you are going through this.
Here's the thing. You have to have the mindset that you are doing all this first and foremost for you because dbing is a way to live your life. And somtimes a marriage also gets saved.
So, with that mindset, it's important to first look way inside. I understand you are in a program to address your issues. And that's great.
But on a much simpler scale, take a look at what your h wrote. Now you can put a positive spin on it if you want and that's ok. But in doing that, you arent really hearing what he is trying to tell you.
Listen, it's hard to hear how they feel. But, if you take it and use it to propel you forward on your journey, well, then it's a good thing.
So, do some real soulsearching. Dig in deep. It's hard but so worth it.
Ok, now a little tap. I hear, in your post, a little bit of annoyance on your part regarding what he wrote. Now, dont get me wrong, your reaction is normal.
But, if you want to really have the best shot at saving your marriage and more importantly, finding yourself, you have to put your ego on the backburner and get ready to get your hands dirty.
Figure out what kind of person you want to be. What characteristics and traits you want to have. And each day,be that person.
Put your marriage safely in a box and put it on a shelf.
And do not worry about what he is thinking or doing. Put the focus on you and your kids.
And SC, reach for the stars. Try to get to real happiness and fulfillment without regard to your h.
