Someone suggest H is having a MLC....I don't know?

[Queen_of_Swords]

No I totally realise that many of my characteristics my H does not see positively. As I stated, he makes me sound like someone I wouldn't want to be married to either. Ogre woman, hear me roar! I have looked at his complaints and observations.

I haven't exactly been sitting on my hands doing nothing all this time. I put forth, and am continuing to put forth, honest and genuine effort and made real change. Change he admits to seeing in me.

Cat04, I didn't know he felt this way until he wrote a 6 page email. He has said little at all because he is conflict avoidant. That email was the most difficult thing he ever wrote in my estimation. I know he was in tremendous emotional pain to leave, and to write that.

Right now he takes even conciliatory words and gestures as a personal dig against his character. There is an example in one of my other posts.

I never wanted to emasculate him, I didn't know I was doing it! I was just doing what needed doing in my estimate.

I got my emotional needs met by friends and family. Mostly because computer games, TV and reading held more interest than I did to him, and he was usually "tired".

I did try to get him to share activities, and get away with just me. His judgement on my efforts was too little, too late.

From my perspective he totally relied on me to carry the relationship, take care of the kids, home, and make the arrangements to go out and book the sitters. Seldom did he make any effort in that regard, and he acknowledged that.

I have never been unfeminine in my appearance or demeanor. I am however very left brained.

I have been very duty oriented from childhood. My fun is not his fun, clearly. Computer games are certainly not fun to me.

I wasn't content...far from. I was resigned and accepted that this is the way he was and this is the way things would be between us.

Content = Enough. At peace and comfortable

I am working on choosing happiness for myself. I have a lot of twisted trauma programming to work through and rewire for that to happen yet.