How to Save Your Marriage During an Affair

[saffie]

Because most affairs end within 6 months.

Please tell me where you get this information from?

My husband had an A for 18 months before he decided to tell me about it. If I had at that point just sat and 'waited' he would have swung backwards and forwards between myself and OW,whilst basking in the joy of having two women fight/fawn over him. ( He did actually ask for that to happen so he had time to make up his mind!) That is just sickening. I ended up with my psychiatrist telling my H that to try and do that was mental cruelty; that was after I tried to commit suicide because I was so emotionally distraught.

I have a lot of respect for many folks on this site, and I try to comply with the boards rules, but you have made the ability to be honest and give good advice to other posters harder and harder.

I am a "success" story. I am 5 years on from discovering my H's A and we are about to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this year. We are in a happy, loving, supportive M. Your site brought me much comfort when recovering from finding out about my H's betrayal.

So much of the advice given on here is good....such as that about forgiveness etc. However, not all situations are the same and sometimes exposure is good whilst other times it isn't. I don't like the way you are trying to frighten folks in to acting in one particular manner by the veiled threat of what will happen if you give someone an ultimatum. the thing about any ultimatum though is that you have to know before you issue it that you can go through with it......whether it be a situation with a spouse who is being unfaithful, or a child that won't behave. One has to consider all options before acting and make an educated response.

You have a choice to make. You can draw a line in the sand and say I’m not going to put up with this, “you need to end this affair or it’s over.” Chances are, I’m telling you, nobody likes to be pressured into a corner. You’re likely to end your marriage.

I disagree. My H actually said that doing this saved our M - as I said earlier - all situations are different.