Trusting, Perhaps she senses her days are numbered. If you are just nice to your X, he'll probably turn to you. As far as how much you want to be involved with that, it's your call, but in the long run it is probably good for your kids.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Hoping and praying for God's will to be done in your life....they have said it in here many times It will be up to us if WE let them return.....take care ....Irma
My youngest had a winter concert at her school. Ex brought OW and I arrived late. They did not see me there. After the concert ex left while I stayed and decided to take my girl out for a bite to eat. I texted ex that I was doing that. It is his night to have her so I told him he could pick her up at my house instead of the day care. He texted back saying, Are you taking your boyfriend with you out to eat? I told him that would be none of his business. He then texted back, "Tell him I said Hi", sarcastically of course. Very weird interactions. I was actually alone at the concert. I do not introduce boyfriends to my children.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
He texted back saying, Are you taking your boyfriend with you out to eat? I told him that would be none of his business. He then texted back, "Tell him I said Hi", sarcastically of course. Very weird interactions.
So typical for an MLCer. They prance around with their OP but they are still so insecure about us. Can't make sense of it because it doesn't make sense.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Ex is now very curious about my life and who I am with. I have to say I never thought he would get to that stage.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I wonder if the curiosity is kind of like the reverse of the situation we find ourselves in back in the beginning after the bomb where we have this sort of need to ask questions even though the answers hurt us? My H did say that he doesn't want to know at all if I am ever in a rel, and I said "if you're over me and don't think of me romantically, why would you care?" He just said "well I don't want to be thinking, 'who's that jerk, who does he think he is?"
Can you believe that? Considering what he is doing? That's just insanity. Ok for him to move on, but not me. I think the same is happening with you.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
I wrote about this on my thread too. H lives with ow and filed for D, but still wants to know whose car is sitting in my driveway when it's one he doesn't recognize.
As Snodderly and CW have said, they don't want you, but don't want anyone else to have you either. Just more of the MLC craziness!
This all makes me feel like some "lay away package" that may or may not be picked up. The roles have reversed in my situation. It seems like it is painful for him to now be around my house and me. In the beginning, I could not get him to stop coming by the house and flaunting OW in my face. Lots of mixed signals. I just have to keep moving on.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I never thought of it that way....layaway package. That's a good way of looking at it. I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel that way. You are a wonderful, intelligent lady and do not sell yourself short. It's important that you not feel like a layaway package. It's their mentality that makes them feel this way.
I hope you have a good weekend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
When the pain of the addiction is greater than the considerable pain of recovery, then he will begin the process. For now, he is just showing you his pain. Carry on with your life! Whatever you are doing is contributing to the progress that is 1 steps forward, 2 steps back. Be happy, and when X wants to fix things, let him fix them, as a gift to your children. There will be no doubt in your mind that he is ready to be a better man. He will be able to make it very clear to you. Then you can think and make decisions. The best thing that ever happened to him may not be available. I tried to misunderstand TJ's overtures as just friendly, but he made sure I knew otherwise. You X will too. Peace be with you!
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
