DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[Denver_2010]

Thanks Denver. What I was getting at was I realize after the fact the those things were likely pursuing, but I didn't realize that in the moment. I also agree that there is really no value in trying to get an update on where she's at. I know she's thinking about the sitch, but it doesn't annoys me to think that she's planning her escape when we could actually be working together to try and solve the issues.

She also trying to validate what she's doing because when she asked me if I had gone out on a date, she said "It's fine if you did, I'm ok with that". Again I think she is hoping that she can just stay sitting on the f*%king fence and eventually I'll make the decision to leave and then she won't be the bad person.

"it's fine if you did, I'm ok with that" -

Believe zero of what they say. If she was truly fine and ok with it, she wouldn't have asked.

"She also trying to validate what she's doing" -

How do you know Scared? Stop trying to mind read... unless you really believe that you can. I try this too... it doesn't work for me. Only frustrates.

"Again I think she is hoping that she can just stay sitting on the f*%king fence and eventually I'll make the decision to leave and then she won't be the bad person."

- Who's better at the game of chicken Scared? You or your W? Can you stare down your W on this? Be more patient? If the answer is "yes", then start BEING patient and STOP worrying about what your W is doing or thinking right now.