DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[ScaredinCanada]

Thanks Punchy.

I've probably spoken to too many people at work about my sitch. I've told my boss (for obvious reasons, and a couple co-workers) on top of that I've also told my 3 best friends, although I don't talk about the sitch with them regularly. I can't help it, I've always been an open and honest person who speaks his mind. Lately, I've been really annoyed by the standard "How you doing?" that everyone's asks daily, and have been responding "Crappy, I'm not gonna lie".

I agree with all of what you've said. I'll see about picking up that book, I just have very little available time to read.

So far my lack of performance at work really hasn't caused any issues. I manage a small team, and I've continue to lead them as best as I can, I'm just disconnected from my ability to constantly look for improvements in the way my team works. This used to be something I was always doing, and it was something that has gotten me to the point I'm at in my career. With my boss and peers I'm essentially faking it right now. I felt like I was improving but similar to at home I have setbacks. I have good days and bad days.

I will wait my W out. She sees my changes, and I think it frustrates her because she is angry that "it took her having 1 foot out the door" for me to finally take notice and change. She told me just the other night again that she doesn't believe or trust that I am truly changing.

She also seems to think I have a major issue with anger, and I agree at times if acted angry or had a short temper. Other than a few blips over the past while I'm not an angry person. It seems that anytime I get frustrated with the sitch, she'll say something like "man your have an anger issue"?!?!

It's funny too when she says things like "You haven't heard anything I said" or "you don't like what I'm telling you" I've said "WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?"

She's never had an answer for that...