Slowly building again.

[Harrier]

I do have a lot of faith. Much of it comes from my wife. She is very positive about the long term of us. Very positive.

But sometimes I feel if I'm on borrowed time. Sometimes I do something that I know causes friction like initiate a talk or get upset about something substantial. yet, my wife feels that these talks are an important step. She may cry and yell during them I usually don't, but she always comes back to the same place. she understand that I had some major issues this past fall and she doesn't think that was really "me" doing all those things.

But I remember when I had issus this fall, my wife would always say the same thing - I love you, I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere. Then she reached a breaking point.

I wonder if she will also reach a breaking point with piecing because of the things that are brought up. To me she is doing the same kind of reassuring she did last year until she dropped the bomb.

So while she says things will workout and not to worry about the long term, I'm scared that she might change on that and I'd feel responsible because I bring up some of these issue.

Which leads me to my next thing. I can't let it get to that point. In some ways I haven't. I don't scream, yell or make wild accusations anymore. Our talks are way more civil and there are less fights. She recovers from these talks a lot faster than the fights of last year. But I wonder if the process will wear her down just like my actions did last year.

I also realized I've been taking an approach that is too stretched out. for example, I say to myself "If I can just create a fun, loving environment with no fights/talks for the next 2 weeks we will get on track." Then three days into it something happens where we end up having a talk about the M. I need to focus more on the now...today. Like each day, make it a goal to not get upset at the small stuff, be patient with my W and if I have a major issue talk about it in a calm manner. None of the open ended week stuff. I might start each day by writing down a few goals for that day.

Also, it looks like our MC session will be on tomorrow. Thank God.

My question for the piecing vets? Did you have a lot of M/R talks especially during the early stages? Did it get kinda weary as you worked through this stuff? Did your SO show signs of fatigue with it? how did you handle it.

Thanks.