it's too late to call the cops and it wasn't the first thing i wanted to do to him anyway. i havet'n been taking his calls and i do miss him and my silence has taken on a life of its own. i don't know how to reach out to him now theres a knot in my stomach. kind of feeling paralyzed. how does anyone make contact again? one thing my friend said was maybe h was taking drugs to relieve stress or to keep going. and that is the character change in him. i laughed because he wouldn't do that either. but he did seem extra agitated and he has been working a lot and then voluteering at church and also the food bank. when i think of how good i really thought he was i cry because i do miss him. i do want to call but i don't know what to say to break the ice. its easier to just stay mad i think sometimes. how should i try to reach out i'm scared he'll bite my head off because me trying to talk to him when this first started wasn't welcome. and that really hurt too because we could have talked about anything before.
