who are you?

[MrBond]

"what emails are you talking about? did you mistake me for a different poster?"

She's referring to your posts.

"i have been very clear in articulating what i want. i want my old h back. but he's gone, or was never really there at all."

No you have not made it very clear. And lets face it, your real H as you call him is still there. If you would have seen this bad behavior in him earlier, then you wouldn't have stayed with him for 10 years.

Again, read my post. I notice you avoid the hard questions most of the posters have asked. They are not judgemental, they are just honest to get to the root of what you want to do.

And lets face it...IF YOU REALLY WERE THAT HURT BY YOUR HUSBAND, THEN CALL THE COPS! Simple as that. You were hurt, fine. You want him to twist and burn in hell for hurting you, forcing you to enter into a "fake" marriage, etc. Then call the cops on him and have him arrested. That'll show him. It's as simple as that.

As stated before, you have two choices. End your marriage to him. OR choose to forgive and see what you can do to help him. He's your husband, no one elses. It is your choice to do as you see fit. We are all victims here and some have seen it far worse than you. You will have no lack of sympathy here because we've all lived it in varying degrees.

It is up to you whether or not to languish in anger/fear/pity, or move on in dignity, forgiveness and love. Simple as that.

So don't tell us things like I want to be married, but my marriage was a fake. You either want to be married to your husband (even with all his faults as he is right now) or you don't.