Ya I realize some of the things I said were likely considered pursuing but to be honest I'm just trying to enagage in the conversation and get some sort "update" on where's she's at emotionally with regards to the R or the M.
The answers essentially weren't good, but I still see the struggle in her - she doesn't know what she really wants and she's not sure if leaving me is a good idea. I can see it and that's good enough for me.
Now I will be detached again and I might try to work on being a little more distant and thus make her more curious.
Yes, continue to do things that will make her curious and don't give her much info when she asks.
If you see some of the things that you are doing as pursuing, then why do them? Now, if you read my thread at all, you see that I've done it too. But we should really try to not do things that are not going to help our situations. It's much easier for me to say this type of thing to you than to actually apply to myself.
But when you do this, you're not really getting an update. You are trying to fill an emotional need for yourself. Validation that things will be ok. Remember one of the first things that is preached here is to believe ZERO of what WAS says and 50% of what you see. So if she answers a question that you pose, are you applying that? If so, then you can't believe her answer anyway. So not only are you pursuing her, hearing stuff that only hurts your own emotional well being, but also wasting your time! You're also reminding her of the negative feelings that she has about you and M right now. And probably also annoying her. Leave her alone for a while.
Besides, I think that I can answer the question about whether your W is confused and wondering if D is the right decision... SHE IS! So now you don't need to ask any more.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
