Losing my motivation....need some advice quick...

[Denver_2010]

Zeng - You have to look into your heart, mind and soul to see if it is over for YOU. I have read many times on this site that if DBing is not working, that we will reach point where we know that it is over for us.

If you choose to continue on, your H is going to have to reach that point that your friends talk about where he regrets his decision. Otherwise, I'm afraid that nothing is going to change. How do you help him get there? Very tough question.

My advice is to try to get back into his life as his friend. If you are his friend, it won't be so weird if you want to keep DBing if the D become final in february. And maybe that will help make him realize the mistake that he is making. It does not sound like going dark is working for you. At least to me that's how it sounds. If something isn't working, you've got to change what you are doing.

To start with, I'd suggest that you call him next time rather than email him. I know that it is nerve racking and scary for you to contact him at all right now after so much dark time, but I think that him hearing your voice would be better than receiving a text or email. And when you do speak with him you can start small by just asking him how he is, how his family is, what he is up to etc. But bottom line is that you need to be the person who he fell in love with in the first place.