See my signature. I'm in a holding pattern after the H's email of last week, it's wait and see. He didn't even wish me a Happy Birthday on my birthday this week, hasn't talked to me but to ask to say goodnight to the kids...once and I was matter of fact, pleasant but businesslike.
The other times he's left phone messages as we were out and I asked the kids to return their father's call, and there were no greetings to me passed on.
I don't know myself whether to initiate contact or just act like I accept his email bombshell and behave in a business like fashion.
That said, my counselor said to be upbeat, happy, friendly ( treat the H like a brother) so if I do speak to him in person or on the phone, that's the person I will choose to be, and I likely will talk to him on the phone tonight when he calls for the kids just because I'm the one that answers the phone.
Given what I've been advised and if you were her brother, would you give her a call to see how she is doing, ask about her day and interests and make the call about her and not you? Would you listen empathetically, attentively and let her steer the conversation?
What is your normal pattern in your interaction. What's the positive alternative behaviour?
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
