Having a really hard time...

[Queen_of_Swords]

What Next. You're right, there is no more "us", right now. However, there can be a new "US". Your past relationship may be dead, but new growth and relationship is possible for you both.
You're in a hard place right now ( heck so am I! and right now I'm having a difficult time keeping optimistic and goal focused), but there is hope.

I believe at some point your wife will recognise that she can never , ever please her parents and she must be herself for herself.
She is a worthy and valuable person as she is NOW. She has an intrinsic value no one can steal from her that is divine in nature. Her worth is not determined by people pleasing behaviour, or based upon her performance.

This is a hard message to absorb, realise and live. You can help her with that, but you may have to be very, very patient and seek out resources that help her with this. The work is hers though, you can only support and affirm when that time comes( and obviously you can't do that while DBing).