I just have these fears that nag in the back of my head. I fear that not initiating any contact with H he may think that I don't care and therefore why leave OW who will at least be there for him. I fear I will never be able to love someone else. I fear that D16 and I will financially be devastated by a D. I fear I will never meet the needs H found from OW. I fear the affair will never end.
Read my sitch and you will KNOW that keeping in constant contact with H and being "friends" and sometimes "lover" is NOT WORKING FOR ME! It has been since July 3rd, and I am still getting 2x4s from my friends that my H needs to know what he will be losing. He has the best of both worlds, a 27 year old bartender girlfriend and a wife at home pining away for him. why should he change? IMO, keep doing what you are doing. It is the heathly thing for YOU.
I was TERRIFIED that I would never love again or even be able to have sex again! I had been with my H since I was 17 years old. HOW COULD I BE WIH SOMEONE ELSE?! that fear of my H being the ONLY man I could be with was another "thing" that was tying me to him. keeping me afraid of being alone. Just trust me when I tell you that this fear is not realistic - you are totally capable of being with someone else and being happy and love again.
IMO - Anyone of us on these boards that are capable of the great love of standing when we are treated like dog poop, is the kind of love that will never go away and will find another who is worthy of that kind of love.
The affair may never end. It might end, but he still doesn't come back. These are harsh realities that we must all face head on and be okay with the outcome. That is why everyone tells me that detachment is soooo important. In the time that you are taking care of YOU, if he doesn't come back you have prepared yourself. You have already moved forward.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
