A slow turn

[Bolt]

Hey Fell!
She's super upfront about the whole thing and assured me again yesterday (without a prompt at all) that this dude was not her type, has zero attraction BUT is helping her vent and understand the guy's perspective. Thing is, my wife isn't a cheater. She's very respectful (a quality I love about her) and thinks that is unacceptable.

Now I'm sure a bunch (if not most) of you will say, she's essentially cheating by texting another man. Well, hear me out on this. I had an assistant a bunch of years back. She and I went to lunch quite a bit, had dinner some times and spent most of the days together. We even joked that she was my work wife. She was cool, attractive and fun to be around. NOTHING even REMOTELY was close to happening. The thought never entered my mind OR her mind. BUT everyone around us thought for SURE there was an A going on. It was crazy to me because most of the time, we talked about work! The lunches were actually work lunches. Dinner the same. My W and her H had zero problem with it and we all knew each other. Perception is a scary thing.

I guess that's where I'm using the trust thing with my W here. She did with me and my assistant. I can return the favor. I believe her and I trust her. Without those two qualities, I may as well give up.

I'm not doing that.

Fell, let me ask you. Does she ever bring up the fact when she texts the guy? I mean, does she text in front of you and say things like, oh it's Joe again? Or does she hide the fact.

NOW - let me put a slight caveat in there. Don't read into things if she doesn't do that or even looks like she is hiding things. My W keeps her Iphone plugged in under her pillow. For the longest time, I hated it because before it used to be plugged in downstairs. I got super paranoid...what is she hiding? But then I grew up and realized, she simply likes to chat. She does in real life (that's funny to say) too but she just likes to do it online. Once I accepted that, I slept better at night.

Hope that helps in some slight way. I will keep you posted for sure!