DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

[Bolt]

Remember, when we get into a R talk, we need to listen, and let them know they are being heard. The last sentence of your 3rd,4th, and 7th paragraph all ended in her telling you how she feels, did you validate that you understood her feelings to show her that you were listening.

It is hard enough for us to shut up and listen, but then we need to show them that we listened.

Excellent advice! That is the biggest thing we dudes have to learn. Fixers are we! Not in this case, says she. The best thing I do is say things like, "I understand how you feel," or "that [censored]!", or "man, I'm sorry that happened." I've realized they just need to vent and let it go. They are NOT looking for a solution.

Another thing about listening? It shows thoughtfulness. It shows that we are really interested in what they are saying AND meaning. That last part is hard for us. Maybe it's our hard heads or something...This idea of thoughtfulness is probably something that has been missing in your R for some time. AND you probably weren't even aware of it.

I know it was with mine. Being thoughtful will make you a more attractive partner too. If not for your W, for someone else in the future...I hate to think of that thought but it is a possible reality...