Having a really hard time...

[MrBond]

Denver's right. You need to show some kind of passion that you are still in it to a certain degree. I mean right now you say you're too afraid to hear the sound of her voice. So are you going to text the rest of your life?

Does she ask how you're doing in these texts? You want to do something different? Then call her. Just a friendly one to see how she's doing. No expectations.

Conquer your fear by doing that first. Even if it's a 2 minute conversation, start opening the door a little. Take some of that control back. Just one phone call at a time. No R talks at all. Keep it light and friendly as if you've moved on in your head and was just calling a friend to catch up.