Wow What Next. Your description of your wife's passiveness...and insecurity...is eerily like mine.
Scylla's comments is bang on in that regard and i in my case i see the MIL being responsible for the criticism versus affirmation turmoil W was brought up in. She was brought up (and thought this when i met her) the she was a princess and perfect and probably expected this childhood affirmation process to continue into her adult years. To this day MIL will criticize or scold her on something (like a haircut) and it will bother my W greatly. W's self esteem has been in the toilet and she see's separating from me as a way to get it back. Sounds similar to your situation.
