Well, my first goal was to not react in a negative way to anything he does or says to me no matter what.
Second goal was to validate his feelings and not push my agenda.
Third goal was to repair the lines of communication so that we could start a friendship, at least.
Fourth goal was to open up to him a little bit more and share my thoughts and feelings regarding any other topic besides our relationship (this was a big problem in our marriage as he felt that I didn't talk)
I have a list of personal goals too in regards to GAL. I also have a list of items that I would view as positive and show that he might be softening.
I did well last night in achieving goal #1. That is a daily struggle. Last night, when he went to "bed", he went upstairs, didn't say goodnight and sat with my roommate for awhile. It hurt, but I didn't say anything or react at all. I guess I just look at it as bad news.
It's amazing how fast this deteriorates. We used to sleep together, no more. We used to go to work together, no more. We used to eat lunch together, no more. We used to take smoke breaks together, no more. He used to kiss me goodbye, no more. He used to call me on the way home, no more (this is a new one). He just keeps removing more and more of our interactions. That's the hard part. But then he is also initiating other interactions that he doesn't have to. He might be trying to just keep the peace. Who knows? It's tough, though. Definitely tough.
