Gman- I told my W I didn't want to be married anymore because I was tired of her childish behavior. I came to a point where I was under a great deal of stress with dizzie spells and crazy outbursts. It was a really wierd time and I can't totally explain it. When the OW came along she comforted me in a way my W could not or would not.
My W has often times pulled away from the relationship. It seams she would always pick a fight with me before I left for a job and upon my return. It goes back to the very beginning of our relationship. We have talked about the "Thursday phone call" over the years. This was a time when we first started dating and I was leaving for school. She called me on a Thursday to break it off. When I asked her, "Why? Things were going so well" she told me it was because I was leaving her. Further, after my W left I found a journal entry of hers written three months into the M where she explains how she feels so lonely that she distances herself from me. She wrote, "I'm going to show him how it feels". I mean this explains all the fighting, pouting, and just all around bad behavior she would exhibit. I wish I would have found that entry years ago!
I feel like bringing all of this up today when I see her. I want to bring up the Thursday phone call and the journal entry. I want to ask her if there isn't anything we can do to salvage this M. My coach has told me to ask for nothing. ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO OTHER THAN LISTEN AND VALIDATE?! My mother brought by a Christmas gift that was for the W. It can't be taken back as it is engraved with W's name. I was going to give it to her. Also, I am going to wear my wedding ring. I'm not sure what effects these things will have.
