Having a really hard time...

[what next?]

I would say that I was a much better husband over the past 5 years than I was the first 5 years. I didn't have a good role model for a husband growing up and I had to learn a lot along the way but I feel like I got better at it.

My wife's complaints are all over the map. She is in a pretty dark place I think and she is seeing everything in the negative.

I told her every single day that we were married "you are my favorite. I love you more than anything and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you" When I told her that after she dropped the bomb she said "then why did you make fun of the way I roller skate?" I mean... how do I even respond to that? I teased her when we went roller skating once so now I am bad? No experience has ever made me this humbled though. I looked at myself and my interactions with everyone to see how I could be a better person or how I was failing in any way. One thing that I have felt good about is how many people have told me that I am a good person and they think she is having a mental breakdown. She has had one before (about a year before I met her) when she was in college. She had real bad depression and stayed in bed crying all day for a month or two. She got put on anti depressants for that and when I asked her if she thought she needed anything like that now she said, "I'm NOT crazy" ...which I don't understand because she should know as well as anyone that being depressed doesn't make you crazy.

She really doesn't have any truly close friends and her parents are her only family in the state. I think that at some point she is going to resent them for all of the control that they have assumed over her through this and if I'm gone with that happens she will be alone. I can't do anything about that though unless she can be willing to open back up to me.