I will start by thanking everyone involved with this site, it has been a great help in my current situation. My wife and i have been together for 7 years and married for 4. We have 2 great kids girl,5 and boy,4. we are both 31. Our marraige is falling apart, has been for a long time. Mostly due to my taking her for granted and not resonding to her needs in the proper manner. I have always loved her and told her so, but my actions didnt always convey the message. She was raised in a divorced family and her father was never around, by her mother with her faternal twin sister and 3 older sisters. They were all very close. I was raised in a traditional family with good values, but never showed much affection towards each other. Of course the love was there but never talked about. Wife had pleaded with me that she needed more positive reinforcement from me and I could never dig deep enuf to give it to her. I was foolish. I didn't know what kind of damage it was doing to her. I would do ok for a while and her pleads would diminsh, then i would slip into my old bad habits. Not giving her the positve things she needed. She had mentioned couseling and i always blew it off. Foolish. If I could only do it over. About 4 months ago, she started to get very distant. I realized this and began looking at myself. I started to change, but she was un receptive. We scheduled a couseler for the 6th of Dec. we went, i was a little skeptical, but i did gain from it. When we returned home, got the children to bed, she told me she has been haveing thoughts of being finished with the marriage. I was dumbfounded. Since then things have snowballed, i have done everything in my power to help the marriage, but she did evrything to try to avoid having to think about it. It killed me. We did counseling together 3 more times, he told us it was not benificail for me to attend anymore, seeing i was doing all i could. She went alone 2 times and she had said that it didnt help her at all. Maybe her self esteem. But she said she could still not bring herself to work on the marriage. She went to stay at her sisters for a week, and when she returned she said she wants a long term seperation, most likely a divorce following. Said her feelings for me have changed. She is looking for appartments. Told me I should move on, she cant see changing her mind. Doesnt want the kids to grow up in a loveless marriage. What do I do? Do I help her find a place? I know she will go with my help or not. She and the kids are my entire life, is there any chance to heal this?
