I'll tell you what everyone tells me when I get where you are. BREATH AND CALM DOWN.
Holy cow, there is hope here. If you want my opinion, there is a lot of hope here. First things first, if the divorce becomes final, do you believe that signals the end of your hope? It's important to define what you think your hope is based on. See, everyone's situation is different and I am sure I'll get these words thrown in my face sometime soon, but your marriage certificate was not the signal that you loved her nor is the divorce decree the signal that it is over.
She IS reacting and interacting with you. I am not so sure about showing up unannounced but I'm going to let one of the vets walk you through that.
She needs to see your changes stick. That's what needs to happen. I'm queen of making changes for a few weeks and then reverting back to my old behavior then crying on my thread that my marriage is over. So believe me, I make no judgments. It took you a long time to get into this situation and its going to take a long time before she believes you really have changed.
Please do not believe that this is the end. Do not believe a divorce decree is the end. There is hope. There is always hope if you're willing to work the program. One of my dearest friends divorced his wife and then remarried her.
