TAMF's Christmas Miracle?

[PEI]

First ... TAMF ... what Alb said. Period. Read it twice.

Augtan,

Actions not words. You just do ... you do not need to send you H an email telling him what you are going to do, you just do it. Capiche?

And isn't sorry enough to come home and make it work.

This is dangerously close to being an expectation and letting the kids get in the middle and act as objects of guilt. Not good, IMO.

he can see the girls on your terms, when it works for you and them, and he can pick them up and take them somewhere neutral, not his apartment, not your house, not with OW, somewhere fun for them. You are in control, period, make him well aware of that, don't back down, you are strong!! Make it about you and the girls and not at all about him!!

No. Quite frankly, IF he pursues a relationship with the girls TAMF does not control it. At all. Nor should she. He is a wayward spouse not a child to be punished. And yes, his choices do affect his children but he is still their father and from what I know, a decent one. They are not pawns or prizes to be doled out when he behaves the way he "should". The marriage and his relationship as their father are two different things. TAMF, set your healthy boundaries around your home FOR YOU, IF he pursues the girls. And although it should go without saying, and maybe it does, do NOT ever bad mouth him in front of them or to them. I don't care how much you are "friends" with your daughters, as parents we have a responsibility to parent, not friend, our kids ... and that includes acting respectfully towards their other parent. Not because they deserve it, not because of something they have or have not done. Because that's what healthy DBers do, right?

Peace
PEI