Am I piecing ? Just can't tell 3...

[Sad_but_happy]

"She's probably doing alot of those things because she feels it's what she needs to do for you. But she needs to do what she wants to do for herself."

And thats my fear Bond. But what can I do? She got the first book, "Surrendering to Marriage". She says she likes that I read to her. Last night she asked me to read the chapter on a mans need for sex. I always make sure she brings up the reading. I told her we could skip the chapter on a mans needs if she felt uncomfortable but she said no. That she needed to know what I needed.

Not sure what to do. I think I will have a better understanding when I go home on Thursday and see how the evening goes.

Mind reading is awful. I just called W cause my phone showed that she called. When I called she said that she dialed by accident (it probably made me look needy to call back an hour later). She said dinner was going bad (she was in a hurry cause she had tons to do with the kids) and she had to go almost right away. So then the mind races. At the same time I could hear all the comotion in the background.

Maybe it is good that it is stressful with the kids all alone. She has a much lower tollerance for stress than I do so it might make her think twice about leaving and having to parent all alone.

I can't help but think that if I played hard ball, and told her that I'M NOT SURE and I FEEL DISRESPECTED and I NEED TIME TO THINK that she would panic about having to find a full time job and parent alone and do everything on her own. I would never do this unless I was in LRT while she still lived at the house but man oh man I just wonder what her reaction would be. I think complete and utter panic but I'm not willing to take the chance. What if she said "sounds good to me"... Remember, these are just thoughts. I have NO PLANS on doing this. Just sharing.

Anyway, just some of my thoughts...