New to this community seeking advice 2

[MichelleLT]

The best thing to do with stuff like that is to write the e-mail then delete it. Or post it on here so you can get some feedback. Venting is all well and good. We all need to do it. But I really don't see the point of sending something like that unless you were just trying to get a rise out of her.

You always need to ask yourself two questions before communicating with the WAS: is it going to get me closer to my goal? And am I reacting out of emotion? If you are, you need to sit on it for 48 hours and then evaluate whether it still feels important to you.

If it does, then by all means raise the issue. But do it in a way and at a time that makes it most likely you will get your desired outcome.

The cardinal rules of communication are: NEVER start a sentence with "you." Always start sentences with "I feel" or "I think." If you have any doubt about whether you should send it, DON'T until you've given yourself 48 hours to think about it. And you are always welcome to post on here for feedback.

If you feel it's necessary to apologize, do it with no ifs, ands, buts, or explanations. Maybe I'm off here, but it seems to me the issue is you don't feel like she appreciates the effort you are making to try and help her out, plus she's not being understanding of the financial situation? But regardless, the tone of your e-mail would not have inspired understanding, empathy, or sympathy from her, but rather defensiveness and perhaps even fear that you are "showing your true colors" and going back to how you were when she felt she had to leave you.

Anyways, what's done is done. So the important thing is to recover from it. Make sure you keep your cool, stay collected, and live the person you want to be.

Glad you had such a great weekend with the boys! Definitely good stuff there.

As for games, give W a heads-up. Hey, S13 sent me his schedule and I'd like to attend as many of the games as I can. I feel it's important to him, and it's important to me. Maybe offer to take him if she's busy or has homework to do or whatever. If she seems hesitant, maybe even make it very clear you aren't expecting anything - not to sit with her, nothing except to see the kids.

Most of all be patient. You've just moved and changed up the visitation schedule. There is a lot in motion right now. There are probably going to be things that feel like 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. Don't let it get you down. Keep working out, making friends, and enjoying your time with the boys.