TAMF's Christmas Miracle?

[TAMF]

update:

In my detachment, I have neglected to realize that my girls are not seeing thier dad. My D13 told me this morning that because dad and I are no longer "friends", they don't get to see him like they used to.

This is true. Because I don't want to see him, he is respecting that and hasn't come to the house like he used to. Considering the girls don't go to the place where he stays because it is a bachlorpad with a buddy of his - he has had limited contact with them.

This cannot happen. I will not be the cause for my girls to NOT have a healthy relationship with thier dad! This is VERY important to me. I am the one who won't let the girls go to his appartment. He agrees 100% - it isn't my H's appartment, rather he is a guest.

I told my H that my anger has subsided and he needs to come back to the house on a regular basis to see the girls. If I get uncomfortable, I will leave or go to my room.

This conversation lead to my H asking me if I was on a date last weekend. I told him very nicely that deep down I still want our marriage to work, but i need to move on with my life while he figures out his. If I want to date, I will. If and when you ever completely break it off with the ow and I am still here we can try to work on "us". I told him that I am not trying to force his hand, I am just trying to move forward with my life.

This was his text message back to me:

I don't want you to date but I do understand. I love you TAMF!
Just hang in there a bit longer if you can for me. Not sayin to not date but don't give up on me just yet. please.

My reply:

I promise not to close the door.

(this is the plain and simple truth - I don't think I would ever close the door on the POSSIBLITLY that is "us")

anyway his reply:

Thank you. I love you.

I started crying at this point. God what is he doing to me!!!????

My reply was something that we have said to each other for 20 years when one of us says, "I love you", the other responds with, "not that much!" then the other person comes back with, "too much!"

So I sent him "not that much...:-("

His reply was..."too much"

I almost threw my cell phone across the room...