Am I piecing ? Just can't tell 3...

[MrBond]

You definitely aren't conceited or anything. You're just looking for answers but the only one with them is your W.

Have you asked her what makes her feel safe? What makes her feel comfortable? Since she's the one hurting, you need to go at her pace. She's probably doing alot of those things because she feels it's what she needs to do for you. But she needs to do what she wants to do for herself.

Have you thought of going to Retrouvaille or some other experienced based marriage program? Trying something different is a great way to change your attitude and break that negative thought patterns.

It also might help your W to know that she's not the only one who might have negative thoughts about the M.