Having a really hard time...

[what next?]

I want my wife back... I don't care about assets and maybe that's showing weakness but I don't think so. I'm not sure how I have a defeatist attitude. Getting a lawyer is just going to mean spending more money to chop up what we have. I could get more from her if I wanted but the split that we have come up with is fine with me. Now if her lawyer tries to go after what we have decided then I will be pretty angry but I don't think that will happen. Ultimately I don't want to squander our net worth by fighting over who gets what and ditching everything in a fire sale to split the $ 50/50. If we can work it out later then at least we will still have all of our assets in place and if we don't I am fine with taking what I have.

My 180 was to back off and maybe that didn't work but now I'm not really in a position to do anything about it because I moved out. If I had found this board before then I could have handled it differently but life is always a lot easier in hind sight. From what I have read in the success stories threads is that a lot of times the woman has to accept that the fighting is over before she is ready to look at coming back. That is my hope. I want to write her and tell her that I am still here and that if she has any feelings about not going through with this than I'm ready to listen but I think that would still push her away at this point.

So, my question is... being where I am now what should I do differently?