Thanks Mish! I was in to see Dad yesterday and his cancer doctor came in to see him. He said that he was considering using a new drug on Dad, which has had good success, but he needs to pass it by the rest of the team this week. He said "I don't want you to think we're just parking you in a bed and writing you off!" At least something uplifting there! Dad told me how empty he felt the day before when the chemo specialist left. He said "sometimes I feel so alone. Isn't that silly, I have all these people coming to see me and so many praying for me yet I still feel alone sometimes" I told him it was perfectly normal. I said "we're all going through our pain but none of us is facing what you're facing so I can understand why at times you feel alone" We talked about what Heaven might look like and if it really exists. We ended up having some laughs, I said "do you realize that you're gonna have to spend time with your Aunt's again?" His aunt's used to talk about how good it would be to be dead all the time, real positive people. Dad said "they're probably up there bitching and complaining 'Oh, I wish I were alive' and 'the food here is so expensive'..." He was in good spirits when I left. So, it's one day at a time, that's all any of us really have anyway!
Thanks Kat. I have mixed feelings about trying anything new. No treatment will cure this, it just extends life if it works and doesn't cause any more damage. What's the point of extending a life of lying in bed all day and, on a good day, going for a 10 minute walk with a walker and physio staff. Why prolong that? But, it's not my life nor my decision to make, it's Dad's. Who can say what quality of life is for another.
When my dear grandmother did pass, she had been fighting cancer for nearly a year. The chemo was killing her faster than the cancer so they switched treatments. She couldn't go out and be with people and couldn't have the grrat grandkids around much as they seemed to constantly have a cold or something. Near the end she wanted to go out. My parents took her out to lunch and she got to sit on her back porch swing with my cousin and watch her bleoved birds in her beautiful garden.
She caught pneumonia and passed away within 2 weeks. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and have my heart ache for her(really for me, because I miss her so much). I have her cardinals, those beautiful shy birds that came to at her grave and seem to appear when I need her support the most(I saw several everytime I had to go to court for the divorce). So she is with me and I can't help but feel her love everytime I see one.
Sorry for the hijack. Hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat, that wasn't a hi-jack, they were beautiful words. I was thinking the other day that every time I see a baseball game, I'll think of Dad. Every time I see a church choir somewhere, I'll think of Dad...there will be so many things that will keep Dad a part of me. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Hi Wii! I am in Germany now with my D30, and am now connected to my laptop ... yay! It's so strange how much one relies on the computer to connect to the world.
I still think about your dad, and pray for him. You know, even an extension of life is good, if the quality of that life is liveable, and one can get to leave the hospital. We all are dying, one way or another, and trying to extend our lives through diet, exercise, etc. So, why not a new drug?!
Take care of yourself.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Danke, Wii. So far, just waiting for the baby to be born. Had a bit of a 'scare' on Wednesday, but no born baby yet. ~sigh~
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
