So from the beginning I probably should have mentioned another dynamic going on in the house. When we moved, we took my friend (who also works with us) and her 12 yr old daughter with us. They stay with us right now. I didn't mention it because I know that everyone will think that she's the one he's seeing. But the time missing does not coincide with when she is out of house. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is not her.
Saturday after the bomb of him looking for an apt., my friend and her daughter and I went out to movies. When I came home, I went into my room. My husband and those 2 hung out together for the rest of the weekend. I am being alienated in my home. If I come out with everyone else, H gets into one of his depressed moods and goes to hide. I would just rather not deal with it and I am perfectly happy in my room.... mostly...
Last night, I did go work out, took a drive, then sat down the street and called my parents because I just couldn't bear to go home. I don't know why, but I just couldn't do it. They talked me off the ledge, I went home, my brother called and I sat in my bathroom talking to him for awhile and just laughing. Well, I could hear my H trying to listen in on convo. (That's why I went into bathroom).
Then this morning, when he came in to take a shower, I was on computer (on this site) and he asked if I was working. I said no. He's really starting to ask questions about what I am doing. Part of me feels like he's doing that in hopes to find out I've found someone else and he can walk away free, part of me thinks he's thinking a little bit more about what he's doing.
So now that I've taken you 500 miles around in order to tell you the situation, how do I stop this? How do I stop the negative thinking or even trying to guess what he's thinking and doing? It drives me crazy.
Fell and SBH - Thanks so much for the words. They really mean a lot to me. Being alone here in this new place, sometimes this feels like the only lifeline I have. You guys are awesome and I continue to pray for your reconciliations.
