We had dinner, did our own thing for a while, then after kids went to bed we watched some tv. Ended up chatting a bit, watched a show on MTV about kids feeling bad and how they went through a class that forced them to open up to other teens in their school.
I mentioned to my wife how I now have feelings and understanding for people that I never felt comfortable with before. She listened deeply, actions will continue to speak volumes for me.
I am doing it!
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
I am still trying hard and have only been implementing these changs since the beginning of the year, 3 January is when I make my choice to do this.
It is ridiculously hard but it is best. I am seeing that my evenings are better for both of us in the house and we actually laugh some and stuff so I am trying not to hold on to the possibility it can work. But it is re assuring to see results and know that it is because I am trying to move on.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
being a better person is my strategy. I see why I have been such a hurtful and grouchy person most of my life. I never let out the nice, funny easy going guy. I sometimes let it out with friends but never really gave that to my family. For some reason and this has been said a million times. I always took it out on the ones closest to me.
That includes people growing up and also as an adult. I never have had a lot of friends and never was able to hang out regularly with any one group of friends/people. Because I always ended up offending or hurting them and then lost them.
No I have done so much damage to my wife that she does not even know that I am or can be a nice carrying, lving person.
I get it and am now implementing my new person. I want this and feel it from all angles now. And it feels great!
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Having a very rough day at work and I am fighting to make sure I go home in a happy mode. I know I can, just right now I want a hug and I know I will not get one. It [censored]. But at least she is still in the house and I know she will greet me with a happy face.
Weird how she still shows some like for me.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
You mentioned to your W about feelings you are having.
Be careful with this. These are words,not actions.
Actions speak volumes for her also.
Keeping our mouths shut is the hardest part.
Tonight, other than hello, try staying silent, see if she initiates any conversation. If she does, listen. Talk as little as possible.
To me, this is feeling her out. This will tell you if she really wants to talk or not. Maybe the conversations you have had in the past were initiated by you, this may be putting her in a place she doesn't want to be. Just see if she will initiate some conversation.
This is kind of a test to see where she is at with talking, and it will show if you have been talking to much.
I am not trying to bring you down, you seem much better lately, but sometimes when I was feeling better and having more confidence in myself, I would want to run to my W and tell her how I feel and what I had learned about myself. According to most advice I have seen, we shouldn't do this.
H-40 W-38 Together-20 Married-12 boy-7 girl-3 bomb-9/17/10 No papers live together No affair
Thanks Habit, i will do this tonight and see what happens. Although I have a feeling nothing much will be said.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
You mentioned to your W about feelings you are having.
Be careful with this. These are words,not actions.
Actions speak volumes for her also.
Keeping our mouths shut is the hardest part.
Tonight, other than hello, try staying silent, see if she initiates any conversation. If she does, listen. Talk as little as possible.
To me, this is feeling her out. This will tell you if she really wants to talk or not. Maybe the conversations you have had in the past were initiated by you, this may be putting her in a place she doesn't want to be. Just see if she will initiate some conversation.
This is kind of a test to see where she is at with talking, and it will show if you have been talking to much.
I am not trying to bring you down, you seem much better lately, but sometimes when I was feeling better and having more confidence in myself, I would want to run to my W and tell her how I feel and what I had learned about myself. According to most advice I have seen, we shouldn't do this.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
HABIT, so just keep it basic and see where it goes... Just listen huh. She had her counseling today and marriage counseling in the morning, should I not bring it up, just let her correct?
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
