It's hard to say what to do other than do what feels right, but be true to yourself. You know that when you pushed, you didn't do it because it felt right. You did it because you were impatient about what you wanted. Wanting something doesn't make it right to just jump for it. All in it's own time. Patience is mandatory (which you know). If you feel you're putting on an "act" then IMHO, you're not being true to yourself.
I don't know that I completely agree about the NC. That's more for YOU to do to help you detach and keep you separate from the MLC crap. It sounds like you're way past that. If you feel like sending a friendly text or email, do so. You'll know when you get a positive response back. If he retreats, then he's not ready and you must be OK with that. No expectations. You're right, he must come to you. Keeping lines of communication open is the key.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
