Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Had a good camping trip with S12 this weekend. Even though I froze anytime I had to leave the bonfire, it was still really nice to "get away" from W for two nights. Praise God, thoughts of W, M, & sitch were absent for hours at a time. Got home Sunday AM. No change in her attitude.
She's "acting as if" I'm just a room mate and avoids all talk except things like, "what time's the game on? Do we need anything from the grocery store?" etc. etc. She totally avoids even friendly talk. Strange, very strange.
While I was away, D17 had a friend sleep over, so W had to use "our bed" (for the first time in months). I know she must miss the actual bed; it's way better than the couch or S17's spare twin. Anyway last night I said goodnight loud enough for her to hear - got nothing, silence.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
She's "acting as if" I'm just a room mate and avoids all talk except things like, "what time's the game on? Do we need anything from the grocery store?" etc. etc. She totally avoids even friendly talk. Strange, very strange.
Sounds like she's DBing you. I suggest you do the same.
Forgot to mention, tomorrow's W's birthday. She's getting nothing - from me.
I remember at Christmas she said don't get me anything. Nothing's changed, since then.
I'll suggest we go should out to eat as a family or pick up a cake maybe. Kid's still don't know about OM, and it puts me in poor light if I don't do anything special.
And to be honest I'm kind of miffed that she and OM are texting and calling all day every day. How long does the teenage behavior last?
Any suggestions?
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
My guess Pickle, unfortunately, is that it is going to last until it burns out. From what I've heard, this can go on for a very long time. 6 months? I may, or may not, be in the same sitch. I really have no idea these days since W is not living in the home and I don't ask about OM. There just really isn't anything good to say about it I'm afraid.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Well tonight I brought up the b-day. Suggested we go out to dinner as a family. It's somewhat of a tradition. She says no, she wants to go to tennis. Tuesday nights she has tennis clinic. So I said, "Let's do it for the kids." She says, "No it's MY birthday; I'm going to tennis." I said "Okay." And that was the end of that convo.
I should seriously change my handle from Pickle to Petruchio.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Wait. I think Denver's right. She'll either file and have me served, or not.
I dunno - getting fed up of doing. Think I'll do nothing for a while.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Pickle. She is playing hard ball with you and she is winning.
The goal as my IC stated is to "make her miss you"...
The only way to do that is to GAL, and have fun living YOUR life.
Trust me when I say that it is sooooo easier said then done. You long for any sign of the "old her"...
She is gone for now. Stop asking her ANYTHING!
Don't ask if shes hungry Don't ask if shes thursty Don't ask if shes tired Don't ask if she wants to go to dinner Don't ask if she wants to exchange gifts Don't ask if she wants to see a movie
get it!
You are pursuing. You are looking for a positive reaction, something, anything, you are desperate...
This is all understandable and it will take unreal strength to stop, but STOP YOU MUST!!!
Please Pickle, STOP! She knows it's her birthday! She knows you want to take her out! She sees your desperation...
Your better off just writing a little note so she knows that her birthday is important to you without pursuing.
Example: "Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday"...
Then go and do something for yourself... I feel your pain Pickle but your W has too much power. Take it back!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Wait. I think Denver's right. She'll either file and have me served, or not.
I dunno - getting fed up of doing. Think I'll do nothing for a while.
I would just say that instead of doing nothing, go do something for yourself for a while. I'm having a horrible time coming to terms with the term 'detaching', but I have taken on GAL pretty well. But I'd agree with Sad But Happy's advice as far as trying to do stuff for your W. Stop. At least for a while.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
