SA, I'm sorry. I wanted to get back to you before this.
Sweetie, I know how hard it is to get your mind around the fact that your h has filed.
As long as he doesnt, you kind of dont have to see it as real. You look at it as a sign that maybe he is not sure of the path he's taken.
I see you trying to find a pattern and there really is no rhyme or reason to it.
I got the bomb. H stayed in my bed for 7 months, stayed in my home for two years until I could no longer handle it. During that time, he amassed over $60,000 in debt, I finally filed, with a heavy heart, almost three years post bomb, to try to stop further damage. He lost his job at year 2 and claims that's why he never filed.
Now he is dragging this out in court.
Who knows why? Not me.
It doesnt matter. Really it doesnt. I believe my h has to see it through because he lost his job and he still wasnt happy. He moved out, still not happy. So, it must be because he is still married to me. When he's not, THEN he'll be happy. Not!
So, recognise that it's a difficult thing because it is. But, it doesnt change your journey, if you dont want it to.
You continue on your path. Find out what makes you happy, what fills you up. Change the things about yourself you want to change.
Getting divorced doesnt affect your chances of reconnecting. In some ways, it gives him a clean slate.
Point is this. Do what you have to do to protect yourself. I wish I had done that sooner.
And then, continue on your way.
I know this is hard. I wish that it wasnt. But you will get through this. I know it.
