Stop looking at what he is doing. Stop looking at what he is saying. Stop looking at HIM. Period. I know where this path leads - been there done that. Keep your eyes focused in front of YOU, keep your focus on what YOU need and what YOU want. This is NOW TAMF time...time to heal, time to reflect, time to really find who you are.
TIME
I say again
TIME
Do not rush into anything. Do not rush to pull him closer OR push him away. The only thing that you should be doing is healing.
And guess what healing needs?
TIME.
As Antonia said..."stay with it".
Look, as much as it will eat at you, do not respond to him. Stop doing things for HIM and start finally doing what TAMF wants to do. Caution - he may try to suck you in, he may try to blame you, he may try a bunch of things. Please keep focused on YOU.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I think what might feel strange to you is that you are starting to feel a tiny bit empowered and in the mindset to take back some control over what happens to you and it's foreign to you. Stay with it.
I am feeling in control again - feels GOOOOOOOOOD
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
I know you want your M back TAMF....make sure you move forward on YOUR conditions and on YOUR PROMISES TO YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN.
You run this ship!
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
enjoying my detachment - seriously. I feel free!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my every thought is not about him. I have a smile on my face, I am more focused at work, making plans for the weekend with friends.
ahhhh - can you hear it?? That is me breathing without a constricted heart for the first time in a long time.
Love you all - thanks for always being there for me!!!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
I know exactly how you feel!! There are days that H doesn't consume my every waking moment. I have in the past couple of days began to really watch TV again and read without being distracted of thoughts of H and OW. I will say, I still think about H but, finding myself engrossed in a TV show or a book without thought of H is refreshing. I am starting to feel a little more like me.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
I am in a really strange place mentally today. Confusion, dwindling anger, joy, sadness. All of these emotions are running through my brain.
I have totally detached from my H for almost 2 weeks now. he actually hasn't occupied much of my headspace. until yesterday. I spent a good portion of my day watching football (GO BEARS!!!!!) and just thinking. not depression, sad or angry thoughts, just standing back and looking at my life and what I want. Specifically am I still standing.
I have come to the conclusion that I will always love my H, but my marriage is over. Does this mean that I want a divorce? move on, move forward without him? if I am honest no. I am not ready for divorce. I am ready to be happy and stop being angry. I am enjoying the freedom of detachment.
What is interesting now is the fact that an old boyfriend (Br**n #1 for those of you close to my sitch and know who I am refering too) has surpisingly come back into my life via Facebook. I haven't seen or talked to him in 20 years. It has been fun catching up and talking to each other. Nice to remember the old days of lifeguarding and youth :-) Has put a smile on my face talking to him. He is a great guy, and I always wondered whatever happened to him.
Anyway, back to work! can't continue to slack off! I hope all of you have a great week, and remember....
GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
