H's MLC - finding compassion and forgiveness

[Mila]

Punkin, CW, GAG & SA...thank you ladies for having such faith in me...maybe more then I have in myself...but I'm a though cookie so I will survive even that if it comes to it.

Had another bad exchange with H this morning....he called for a meeting saying that he wants to meet that he has things to give me. (lately he's been calling instead of emailing...strange)

I said fine, not knowing what things he had in mind, was thinking maybe it's about the SA...also thought that we would talk about a client quote that we are working on...well all he gave me is some business receipts and his personal bills for me to pay. Yes the bill for the new Iphone that he gifted to himself was there...I asked "was there anything wrong with the IPhone you had"? He said no "I just wanted to give myself a gift, do you have anything against that?" I said no, as you know I didn't say anything when you emailed me that you bought it". He said "I thought that you would reply that you are happy for me" (Seriously"????). I said "I was just thinking about the environment, it's seems wasteful, you had a perfectly good Iphone, but I didn't want to say anything, it's not a big deal ...if it makes you happy" He said already angry "You can have the old one if you are worried about the environment"...gee thanks...btw he already gave it to D...so now she has a Blackberry and an IPhone...what is he teaching her????

I got off of that subject and asked "that's it nothing else you want to talk about?" he said "that's it". So again no mention of the SA. I was also surprised that he didn't want to talk about business so I asked for an update on current jobs in progress he reluctantly replied and then I brought up the quote and told him that I need his input on some of the points and...he started to get into defensive right away...telling me that if I can't do it on my own, he may as well do it himself...I told him that we need to try to work as a team....we were both starting to get argumentative and the business discussion wasn't going anywhere...then he asks me how is my job hunting going...I said that I'm looking but it won't be easy to find what I want I'm 53 and that is a handicap these days...never thought that after 20 years running our own business I would be put in this position"...H said angrily "I put you in this position?" I said "Actually yes you've put me in this position"...He said something like "it's been a year and you are still not over this?" I said "So you think that because it's been a year everything is OK now? What you have done it's not OK"...he got up and stormed out.....

Well he is right...after a year I should know better then to let him push my buttons and let him provoke me...I should know that he is a selfish a** and it's all about him and there is no point to any discussion with him...I should know better...

I have so enough of this...need major space from him right now....