Paroled !!! MLC prison no more!!!

[MHL]

Wow.....

Thank you all for the responses, I truly value everyone's perspective and hopefully this part of my story will help others that are reading.

I not only come here to get advice but I also give advice and feel that by telling my story the people that I post to will have a better perspective on what it is that I am saying to them.

First, I am sorry I took a while to respond....been busy....it is true that when things "get better" you will have less time to devote here. With that being said, I am glad I allowed myself time to make this decision and time to seek counsel and then in turn weigh that counsel.

Good rule of thumb......

When in doubt, hold off and do nothing for 24 to 48 hours.

Well, after reading everyone's responses and talking to a few of you over the phone........

I chose not to go over to my STBXW's for dinner with her and the kids last Friday night. Actually went over to Kemper's for beer, pizza and some good healthy dialouge.....Thanks Kemper.

GAG and Trapt.....I will address the lady I am dating in a minute but just wanted to say thanks for the input.

Over the last several weeks, particularly around Christmas, the interactions with my STBXW sorta heated up a little. I posted about it in this thread. I was fine with the interactions, they did not bother me and I was having a good time.

Did the affections between my STBXW and me mean that I still had unresolved issues or more "work" to do????

NO

Were those physical interactions with my STBXW inappropriate????

YES.

I have come a long way and have done a lot of "work" on me. I have learned to keep my emotions in check and not let what my STBXW is doing affect me emotionally. I liken it learning how to ride a bike.......

I had to re-learn how to ride a bike......and I got good at it......

so good that I learned how to ride with "no hands". Well interacting with my wife in the manner I have in the recent past is just like riding a bike with no hands.....

It is like I was saying to all of you.....

"Look!!!! No hands Mom!!!!" like I learned some neat trick.

Hey I can file for divorce, kiss and hug and make out with my STBXW and date too!!!! and I'm okay.

Yeah, right Missher......that was working good right up until she asked me over for dinner.

I stopped looking ahead at the path in front of me for a moment.....I turned my head and looked at my STBXW for just a moment....when I look back straight ahead.......

Well, I had lost track of the path I was on.......I was still on it but could not see it......that kind of threw me a little. That is why I came here.

Here is what I have found....I am still on the same path and in the smae place as I was before, just couldn't see my feet for a minute. Well I can see them again and I am still stepping forward.

I don't know what my STBXW was/is thinking and to speculate is to take my eyes off my path. If she really wants to reconcile or is interested she will make her intensions known....period.

If that happens I will weigh that at that time.....just as I would weigh a relationship with any woman I may be dating at that time.

Which takes me to the discussion of dating and "getting serious" with another woman.

Well let me say this....I think my words may have betrayed me a little with this. For me "getting serious" meant that I was not going to "date" anyone else for the time being to see where this relationship might go.

I have been on Match.com for a little over 2 months and been out on dates (drinks, coffee and some dinners) with a lot of women, some I had a second date with others it was a "one and done situation".

This person that I am currently seeing is about 1.5 hours away and I have been have been talking with her since Dec. 4, met for the first time on Dec. 11 and really because of distance, kids and the holidays have only seen her a handfull of times. However, I am interested in seeing more of her.....don't know what she wants but she knows my situation and truth be told, I think she is being VERY cautious with me based on just that.

Soooo, hopefully that throws a little more light on my sitch. I really am not factoring her in on my decision to interact with my STBXW, or should I say my decision to limit the interactions from here on out.

So to recap....Missher is going to start acting more "divorced" as the D day approaches and while he found out that he could be "friends" with his STBXW....he probably is not going to be friends with her.

Missher is going to continue to be the best father he can be to his kids.

Missher does not officially have a "girlfriend", however that may change......meantime he is not going to explore any other options at this time....LOL.

Most importantly.....Missher is still on a journey of growth and self-discovery and he intends on sharing that experience here in hopes that someone else may benefit from reading about it.

Thank you ALL once again, I really appreciate the effort.

Cheers