Apologies if I misunderstood you. My assumption was that when people point to specific qualities of OPs, they single out qualities they view as making the OP a less worthy partner. Others also seem to have understood you to be bashing the OW when referencing her weight and fitness level. That seems to be a pretty natural reading of what you wrote (though I believe you when you say it wasn't the intended reading.)
Whether or not people "should" be comfortable in their own skin, whether they "should" be strong, many women on these boards are less fit or less thin than they'd like to be. (This, BTW, includes size 6 prom queens who feel horrible about themselves often because of messages they've received from WASs.)
I agree that generally DBers are strong people, but they are also emotionally traumatized. They lose their footing for a good while, they struggle to regain self-worth. Little jabs against OPs that seem to suggest the OPS are unworthy in some way because of weight or fitness, and so on, will hurt many of those LBSs who have been told (or imagine) they were left for not being thin enough, or fit enough (whether or not they "should" be unaffected.)
If a person is equally worthy of love and equally valuable regardless of weight or fitness level, then why not take care to avoid the implication that they aren't?
