I guess after reading DB and having no R talk hammered into you, I get a little reticent to talk about things that are burning her out. Yes I assumed (I know wrong) that it was the M stuff when it could've been nothing to do with that.
I know this week is going to be tough on my W, mostly with work. So I'll just try to make things good for her at home.
One of the things, I'm most surprised about is how much I enjoy my W as a friend. I know we lost a lot of that, but it's good to see it start to come back.
And like I said, she is clearly looking for opportunities to do things together and as a family. She asked me yesterday if I wanted to do a 5K with her and we'd get a sitter for the kids. Then today she asked me if I wanted to go to an open house as a family. So with that stuff I' see she's trying
You identify significant positives in your situation. The restoration of the platonic relationship is a foundation for intimacy. You and I have to do the work of creating intimacy. I wouldn't be too conservative about R talks, in the sense of changing patterns to solve problems, or to show your W that you're attuned to her concerns. I've learned that if my W is grouchy, and it's about me, I better take it seriously, and find out what she wants me to do differently. It may be trivial to me, but to her it could be a sign of disrespect, or selfishness. I'm buying into the idea that we have to put on our raincoats, and walk into the storm of emotions with our W's during the platonic Piecing phase, so that they can see we're there for them, and trust it.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
