I am in a really strange place mentally today. Confusion, dwindling anger, joy, sadness. All of these emotions are running through my brain.
I have totally detached from my H for almost 2 weeks now. he actually hasn't occupied much of my headspace. until yesterday. I spent a good portion of my day watching football (GO BEARS!!!!!) and just thinking. not depression, sad or angry thoughts, just standing back and looking at my life and what I want. Specifically am I still standing.
I have come to the conclusion that I will always love my H, but my marriage is over. Does this mean that I want a divorce? move on, move forward without him? if I am honest no. I am not ready for divorce. I am ready to be happy and stop being angry. I am enjoying the freedom of detachment.
What is interesting now is the fact that an old boyfriend (Br**n #1 for those of you close to my sitch and know who I am refering too) has surpisingly come back into my life via Facebook. I haven't seen or talked to him in 20 years. It has been fun catching up and talking to each other. Nice to remember the old days of lifeguarding and youth :-) Has put a smile on my face talking to him. He is a great guy, and I always wondered whatever happened to him.
Anyway, back to work! can't continue to slack off! I hope all of you have a great week, and remember....
GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
