Thanks so much, Fell. I looked at your post and I think you did such a great job and you are so strong!!! You definitely have gotten her to a place where she is considering her actions very seriously. I think that is so awesome. I am praying hard for you. I pray for your reconciliation, mostly I pray for your peace.
I am to blame for a lot of this. I know this. I was depressed over the move and I did nothing to fix it. He felt emotionally abandoned and couldn't deal with it. I wish that he spoke up sooner, but wishing isn't get me anywhere. And it was still my responsibility for not fixing what was broken in me.
However, I do not accept that everything is my fault. Nor do I find it acceptable to malign me to my friends and co-workers as if he's building some sort of court case. The note I wrote to him obviously struck a cord because he's really done a 180 in the last 24 hours with his behavior towards me. It hasn't changed his desire to leave, at least I don't think it did (of course I'm not asking). But something is happening in me. Perhaps its the detachment or the severe disappointment in his behavior. I didn't malign him to anyone. Anyone who knows what's going on, I was upfront and told them that he felt abandoned. But I didn't make him out to be some sort of demon because of what's going on to anyone.
He's failed to take responsibility for his actions and someone needed to call him on that. Someone needed to explain to him that he didn't need to demonize me and that I don't cause his actions, he chooses his actions.
Today I am at work. He's staying away from me, which is good. I told him I wasn't angry but I am angry and I don't want that to show. Tonight I go to the personal trainer for 90 minutes. I'll go eat dinner then I go back home to my cave.
Oh one more thing... H came into room yesterday concerned about migraine. He can see that I'm on the computer a lot lately (mostly on this site) and he was trying to get a glimpse of what I am doing. Of course, I minimized window before he walked over to me. Why does he even care what I am doing?
