Starsky, Thanks for the best wishes. I thought the dances went well. We were nearly perfect with all three Rumba dances, and the three Foxtrot dances were good (it's a newer dance for us). Our instructors were proud of us. We won first place in six dances. I made the mistake of not taking the day off prior to the competition, so we didn't get to sleep until 1AM, and had to dance at 945AM. I'll make it a three day weekend next time. My W organized a birthday party for me. Members of our studio gathered afterwards at a bar, and sang a birthday wish for me. It was a time of connection and developing friendships, throughout the day.
It's more work for the woman to participate in these events. My focus is on the dance. She has to put a lot of time into make-up and dress. My W has little experience with make-up. She'll probably hire a make-up artist next time, until she gets more skilled at it.
I'm thinking of doing this twice per year. It forces one to commit to learning a dance well. Most people danced more dances during the event than we did (6). I don't want to push my W too hard with this, as it's an adjustment for both of us.
I like what I'm reading so far with "Hold Me Tight." The author places high priority on intimacy and attachment, and believes disruptions in it are the root of marital problems. She believes one has to work in layers, starting with working thru defensiveness and a partner's anger, withdrawal, or distance, by being emotionally responsive.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
