It is natural to feel insecure when you have had a betrayal in the past. That is why simply moving back in together, and having some very good days and nights together, simply is not enough. Your relationship is not "fixed" yet. You've made amazing headway, don't get me wrong, but there is a lot more territory to be covered here. And the feelings you are feeling are real, and they are part of the process.
Your wife said the same thing, she is afraid of being hurt. Being in a loving, trusting, committed relationship means that you are vulnerable. You are not hiding behind a fortress wall. It is a good sign that you both are feeling it. Very good sign. This would make a good topic to discuss at MC.
As my husband and I reconciled, I felt like Hansel and Gretel, lost in the woods, following a path of breadcrumbs, looking for the way out. I was very unsure. I would say the insecure feelings lasted about 6 months. This is why you must not just call the marriage reconciled and stop working on it. MC is important, the nice acts of caring are important, doing things together is important, the open communication is important, and keeping the commitment to go to Retrouvaille is important. If you do all of it, you will get where you want to go.
Remember, you cannot fail if you both want it. How can you? You can only fail if you lose the commitment to your goal. Keep working on quieting the voice of defeatism inside you. It will not help you.
