Scared and Alone

[FellOnBlackDays]

Lost,
Please do not under any circumstance take blame for anything you did not do. My C and I have been working on that quite a bit lately. I do recommend that you take some time to recognize what you are responsible for that caused the break-up. Then take some time thinking about what caused those issues and how you will deal with them in the future. But, DO NOT let him put the blame on you. DO NOT let him get off so easy. Here is an analogy I used on my own wife the other night when she was looking for a fight. I told her, "Yes, our marriage is butchered right now, but we did this together. We took our marriage out behind the barn and I fired the shot that ended it. But don't you ever forget you held that poor animal down while I pulled the trigger." She cried and admitted she agreed. It takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to destroy it. But, a good DB'er will always remember that it only takes one to put it back on the right path.

Next time you find out that he is trashing you, ignore it. Defend yourself to the person that listened to his banter, but don't defend yourself to him. It only validates what he is doing.

Sorry to hear that he still wants out. But, don't, don't lose hope. My W came over tonight to settle up on how we are going to divide the household goods and furniture. It actually went quite well because I made sure to DB the entire time she was here. I will post an update with the details on my thread. Stay strong! Keep posting!

FOBD