18 Years of Marriage - Leaving in June

[habitacker]

I am going to sound like an a**, but here it is anyway.

Yes, you are confused, we all are. None of it makes any sense. That is why we have to commit to listening to people like sandi2 and other vets who have been through this cr*p before.

We either have to believe in the road they have went down which is DBing, or we listen to our instincts. I am one of you,a newbie. I used my instincts at first, pursuing, R talk,etc. It put me in worse hole than I started in. So, DBing and the vets on this site started to make sense.

We have to pick one or the other. It is a hard choice, I know. It is your last chance, you don't want to pick the wrong strategy. The results I had without DBing did not work, so why keep doing it?

You think you chose DBing? No,you have not made a choice yet. One of the first things you should do in DBing is stop pursuing. You think you have, but you have not. EXAMPLE- The asking for hugs. come on. I am sorry, but I have been where you are at, and I struggle with my instincts everyday.

I don't know if DBing is going to work, but I have looked at my choices and this is the choice I have made to save my marriage and family. I hope it is the right one. If you choose it, I hope it is right for you also.

On page 2 of this thread, you mentioned you are willing to anything at this time. Well it's time.

Leave her alone. Why? She doesn't like you right now. If someone you didn't like kept hanging around you asking for hugs, how would you feel.

I again am sorry, I know it hurts. These words have all been said to me before on this site, and I have heard words like this said to others, but it was always words of experience, not guarantees, there is none.

Anyway, you don't have much time, these things take time, quit wasting it. If you decide to go with DBing, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. You did say you were willing to do anything. Even without guarantees?

Good Luck, a pat on the back, a hug, prayers? Whatever you need you got it, but you have to do the work, for no pay.