On Figurative Ledge - Talk Me Down?

[Denver_2010]

Ouch Sandi... that one hurt! In all seriousness though, I appreciate your honesty. I know that your goal here isn't to hammer us with a 2x4 and that you are only doing it bc you care. I will take it any time that you think I deserve it.

You are right, I backslid bc of my own emotional needs. And I used conversation with FIL to justify it. However, I'm still not sure that the info that he provided me should not be taken into account. I've read quite a few of your threads Sandi, but I don't remember ever reading anything about what I'm about to ask. I apologize if you've answered this before and I have either missed it or forgotten the answer. But when you were the WAS, was it at all due to your H being a "absentee H", as FOBD has described it? I mean, I was really a WAH for a few months there towards W. I slept on the couch, didn't really speak to her, had told her I was done with M. I made her feel that I didn't love her or care about M. I guess what I am trying to figure out is if this was at all the case with H when you were WAS, didn't his detachment from you enforce feelings of abandonment that you already felt from him? I"m not sure if this makes sense. Let me know if I need to clarify Q.

Do I have the courage to detach from W? No, not yet. The fear that it will push W farther away prevents me from having that courage. Is my explanation as to why detachment isn't best for my sitch an excuse? Maybe. I need to think about this some more. It is a good question though.