Ditto what punkin said. How are you? Just checking in on you. My week has been busy. Trying to catch up now.
My XH initially threatened to serve me in November but then didn't actually serve me until January. I think it was a hard thing for him to do. I think he was hoping that I would "cave" and just cooperate with him on the D. He didn't want to be the "bad guy" but I made him serve me.
Thanks for checking in. I am busy trying to accept that this is the way things are supposed to be. For what reason, I'm not sure, and may never know.
I never saw my life taking this turn. It's up to me to make the best of it.
My H's perception of our life together is his reality and it must have been unbearable for him to do what he did to his family. It's a cheeseless tunnel I need to stay away from as far as trying to figure out why his perception and mine were so different. It really doesn't matter anyway.
I am just really sad for the kids, for him, and for me...
I know the sadness you feel because of your husband's perception of your life together as being so bad. But that is all it is, his perception, and we both know that everything an MLC'r 'knows' right now is skewed, to say the least.
As for accepting things as 'being the way they are supposed to be', remember, it ain't over til the fat lady sings. My husband filed in April of last year, and hear we are, still without a signed separation agreement.
As traumatic as seeing it on paper will be for you, I promise it will be double for him.
Hold your head up, retain your dignity and honor, and protect yourself at all costs. I know I don't have to tell you these things, but it doesn't hurt to keep hearing them, does it? I was wrong to compare it to a guillotine. It's more like having your belly button pierced. You see it coming, know it's going to hurt, but the sting only lasts a while. (Not that I have my belly buttong pierced, mind you)
There's an idea, Seeking. When and if we actually get divorced, let's go out and get matching tattoo's. Something original and prophetic.
Hang in there sweetie. ((Hugs))
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
I am still waiting for the D papers to arrive. Since H has filed I have a question that I'm curious about.
My S24 is installing a radio in a friend's daughter's car. The friend left the car in my driveway this morning on their way to church.
Anytime H has seen an unknown car in the driveway when he comes to pick up the girls he grills the girls about whose car it is. This is not an exaggeration. He has been known to ask 4 different people about a single car.
I figured since he has filed he would no longer care about unknown cars. Not the case. He questioned D12 about the car this morning. She really had no info about it as she didn't know why it was there and just shrugged her shoulders.
My D18 was going to meet them for shopping and lunch as she was driving herself because she had to go to work afterward.
They shopped and went to eat lunch. H then asked D18 about whose car it was. She knew why it was here and she told him about it.
Can anyone shed light on why H would still care about strange cars in my driveway when he's Ding me? Is it just more MLC crazy?
SA, Even though he's filed for a divorce, he's still curious about what you are doing w/your life and who is sharing your life w/you. They don't want you, but they don't want anyone else to have or be part of your life either.
They all ask questions at some point and it's very strange that they do....but in their minds...we are to stay put...where they left us when they walked out the door. I know it sounds crazy, but that's how their little minds work.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mostly it's because they want to control your life even if they think they don't want to be in it anymore. In your state, he may be looking for 'grounds' for divorce too. Strange cars = men! lol Are you sure he's filed?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Yes, I'm sure he has filed. He's not the type to say he did if he didn't. Someone told me that it took him 3 weeks to get the papers after his W filed. He lives in NY, too.
It'd be pretty pathetic if he was looking for grounds for a D by charging me with infidelity after he's been living with the ow for 15 months. LOL
